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I agree with you it is not fair. Legally, however, he is making contact. I went through the same situation. I have always had sole custody of my children with him only having supervised visitation rights at my home. My children had not seen or heard from their biological father in over 4 years ( and I mean no contact whatsoever) until he heard that I was getting remarried. Then he decided that he, all of a sudden, had regrets for not keeping in contact with them. I think that actually came from his family (who never bothered to even call and check on them either). This man is a stranger to my children. I suggested that my children go to a therapist to see if there was anyway to facilitate a relationship with him after all of that time. We did and the therapist concluded that it was in the children's best interest that they not have a relationship with him and that his sudden appearance was harming them. This is, of course, the summary of the past 2 years of hell that he put them through. The therapist also concluded that he, or anyone in his family, not even contact the children. She said that they were in a happy, stable environment where they felt safe and loved. When the Attorney General's Office went after him for back child support and back medical support he has now decided to voluntarily give up his rights. We are in the process of having the case transferred from the county that the divorce was finalized in to the county where we now live. It has been a slow process, but hopefully it will only be one more month. As far as the judge is concerned it is really going to depend on his or her views. Legally though they will consider child support payments and every call or visit, no matter how sporadic, contact. The majority of the courts will try to keep the relationship with the biological father intact except in instances of child abuse, parental drug abuse, sexual abuse, etc. I wish there was an easier way, but it sound like, after you get the case transferred here, that you may need to have him voluntarily give up his rights in order to have the adoption proceed. I know it isn't fair to the children, but that's the way the legal system works.
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