[naal_may]

Hi,

I gave my son up for adoption some years ago. At that time his adoptive parents suggested that I write a letter and include photos. I found that I just couldn't do it then. I was scared and I didn't know what to say to him.

Years (and two children) later, I now know what to say. Since this was an open adoption, I knew his parents' names and general location. I have always known how to contact them or at least someone who could forward things on to them. Long story short, I contacted them and I have a chance to write that letter.

They already have a complete medical history on me and I just updated it, so he will have a complete accounting on that. Also, I have read through this site and I have found it to be a wonderful resource for questions he might have. However I do have a couple specific questions that I hope I can get some help with.

One is just general request for any input into what he may want to know. The other is a bit more touchy and concerns his father.

I got pregnant after what would be considered a date rape. I knew them, yes them (2), and therein lays the other problem. I could have just said something about the father if I knew who it was without actually talking about the rape. I don't think he needs to know about that. It played no part in my decision. When I found out I was pregnant I chose not to abort. I wanted him. It wasn't until later in the pregnancy when I faced the tough decision. It came down to I couldn't raise him on love alone, and I couldn't offer him anything else. I was too young.

Sorry about the tangent there, this is very emotional for me. I guess what I am asking, does anyone have any advice on how to handle the issues about his father in the letter. I can always leave that out totally, but I want to give him as much information as I possibly can without hurting him.

I appreciate any advice I can get. I told his parents that I will send a package with the letter and pictures in a couple of weeks.

Thank you so much for your time.

M