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Dear Fonti:
You don't state as to how you actually got this information other than you receive it from you amom and adad. I think you need to first get some background information unless this information you do have is your non-identifying information. Perhaps your birth family history file which some adoptive parents receive when the adoption is finalized. I would go back and question your aparents about this information before coming to the conclusion that your birth mother concieved you through an affair unless of course this is clearly stated in black and white, and possibly verified by the source.
You don't state how old you are exactly other than your married so I am assuming your over the age of consent. If you are adoptee say born in the 50's or 60's or even 70's this is a time when it was difficult for women to have a child when unmarried or even married and the mind set of society striclty prohibited this kind of behaviour. I would do some serious investigating or possibly contacting the agency or agencies that initiated your adoption. They would be able through records in archives go back to verify this information for you. None of us would like to think our creation was less than it should be, however for most adoptees this is more likely than not. I would also ask if the agency that handled your adoption has a post adoption registry program or reunion program. This way they would initiate the information for both sides and be impartial to both you and your birthmother. I myself a reunited adoptee chose this course of action, it proved invaluable to me in establishing contact and of course counselling my birth family through the initial stages of reunion. If you need more information on how to go about this please post again with the state you were adopted in and the agency that did your adoption. I will be more than happy to give you my personal insight on how to write the letter and how to accept and deal with the emotions and feelings you should consider on your behalf as well as that of your birthmother should you chose to write a letter to her.
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