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Both moms are real. It is really that simple. And mostly you get called "Mom" or the mother. Birth moms rarely are called the "Mom" or even the mother - just the "birth mom". Don't doubt that you are your child's mother, but, all adopted child have more than one set of parents - even if they never meet one of them - ever. The "I miss my mom" post is not the norm - I, as a birth mom loved it. My son will never call me "mom" or mother though or think of me the way he thinks of the mom who raised him. Top billing - you get that but do not deny the birth mom her motherhood either. Both moms are real and all the adoptees that I know (and I know many) feel that adoptive moms are "real" moms - but some think birth moms are "real" moms too. Not much to ask that we be allowed to be "real" too is it?
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