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I appreciate what I have found here, although
Originally Posted By Jerry
I do at times find some comments less than encouraging. We are all different, have different parenting styles, and corellated personalities, as is each and every child we may have the opportunity to parent. Many of the comments and opinions that I disagree with aren't "wrong" or "bad practice," they just don't work for me. I benefit from the discussions on discipline and parenting style. My wife and I have parented with "consequences."
For us the consequences are immediate and fit the situation. For example "the dinner table assault"........."I don't like what we're having and I'm not eating that!" "I'm sorry you don't like this, I don't recall ever hearing you say you didn't like ______. I guess if you don't want to eat this you could have a salad, maybe some fruit or just wait until breakfast, the kitchen is closed for the night. Let's make sure we talk about the foods you don't like after the rest of the family finishies eating." We ALWAYS follow through with a discussion of what kinds of food are "available" for different meals (NO sugar coated pebbles etc.!!LOL!!). It's not always easy keeping cool either. We have a rule at our house that there is NO hitting. We have several large plastic baseball bats (thorroughly dented and showing great wear!LOL!) and a designated spot (old tree trunk etc.) where anyone is welcome to let their anger go. Again, we ALWAYS follow up with a discussion about the anger and discuss an age appropriate coping skill.
Every child is different. I don't believe you can parent every child in the same manner. You have to work with their individual strengths and weaknesses. The old adage about "kids not coming with instruction manuals" can be a haunting reminder.
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