[LisaCA]

my sympathies, ladies. the wait bites, whether it's one month or one year. this is like applying to college. once you've filled out the forms, sent in your paperwork and done everything you can, you just have to sit and wait. Of course as in college applications, there are many other bright perfect people who want to go to your school too, which just bites. Of course you might have taken that extra calculus class, but then your college might be looking for more students from iowa, since they have too many from your state. It's just out of your hands, which is the worst part.

the wait time gave me a chance to imagine what it must be like to be a child eligible for adoption and attending those adoption fairs. can't imagine how it crushes their little egos. it's hard to look bright eyed and bushy tailed at everyone passing by.

some of this depends on bparents and what they're looking for, but some depends on the amount of traffic in your agency. Does your agency advertise? the one we were with didn't, they just waited for walk-ins. That meant that one season might have three walkins, while the next might have ten, all random.

of course none of this matters when you just feel crappy about things. Frankly I think you're entitled. Take the time to wallow in that pity party. Assuming you don't have any of the hygiene issues that wenrl mentions (and even if you do), your children will find you. you mentioned that your agency will review your file and discuss things with you after a year-this is good, it will give you some feeling of control and a chance to redo things. I remember after being in college a couple of years, I read my college application essay. . I couldn't believe they'd accepted me. If you reexamine your profile/paperwork, you may find a few things you want to change, even if it's just mixing up the placement of the photos or whatnot.

I wish you all luck. this is the start of a new year and may this year bring you all you desire.

Lisa