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Our daughter went through what I can now see was about a 4 month transition after being placed with us.
Sometimes she was so angry she didn't know what to do with herself. She would scream, cry, kick, bite and in many cases had no idea why. Because she has problems around defiance, we had other challenges and had to ensure we kept following through on every little thing. But we always ended it by saying we loved her no matter what, good behaviour or bad behaviour.
Time outs became our best friend. We went with the guideline of one minute for every year old she was. I have to tell you, there were times I was wishing she was thirty!
On one occasion I told her she should be angry. That no, it wasn't fair (she missed her foster family of three years terribly) and that she had every right to feel that way. She calmed down immediately.
I remember at the time thinking "Oh, my gosh...", and in hindsight it was a tough time. But things got better bit by bit, and she's like a different kid now. We had numerous setbacks, but at the same time had so many breakthroughs.
Follow your gut, take it day by day, and always feel free to vent or ask for help on the forums!
Allana
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