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Unless we have a late dinner (sometimes even then), A gets a bedtime snack 15-20 minutes before jammie time. Typically its animal crackers, Dora the Explorer crackers, sometimes dry cereal, and once chicken and mozzerella ravioli that she discovered she loved. I'll get her wrapped up in a blanket on the bed and read with her for about a half hour. Usually we read two different things--children's bible first--brush teeth--then something that will help with her reading skills.
One of the things we discovered was that A really wants to know where mom and dad are and is happiest when we're within eye shot. The food, reading, and cuddling before sleep has been helping with attachment (I think) and has made her feel safe that she doesn't have to worry about food. (She used to be a night-time food snatcher and this has only happened once in the last 3 months).
She chooses her bedtime snack and as long as it isn't horribly unhealthy we're ok with it.
We have a strict rule though, once the toofers are brushed no more food for the night. If she says she's still hungry, I'll usually say, "Well, the teeth are brushed so there's no more food tonight. But I'll tell you what, we'll have a big breakfast in the morning."
Not sure if this helps. I know how you feel though!
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