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Hi twins.
I'm wondering if she really was hungry or if it was just an excuse that she knew you'd accept so it'd be acceptable for her to cry and scream. I wonder if she's having feelings she doesn't understand or know what to do with.
I had a similar experience when I was an early teen. My sister (9 years older than me) found me up alone one night just crying my eyes out. I had no idea why I felt the way I did but needed to cry so bad. And I didn't have the trauma that your daughter is enduring. My sister was so great, she, like you, tried so hard to figure it out and solve it for me. But I didn't know what needed to be solved so certainly couldn't tell her if I didn't know. I ended up telling her it was about a boy at school because I really just wanted to be left alone to cry. So I'm wondering if your daughter maybe just needed to cry. What a roller coaster ride she's been on. You know?
Maybe she was hungry, but maybe not. Maybe tonight you can gently bring it up, and if she doesn't want to talk about it, don't push her, but let her know that you are there when she's ready to talk about it (not if...when).
I don't think you did a bad thing breaking your rules, either. It lets her know that she is important enough to be taken care of specially when she needs to be. So even if she wasn't hungry, the sandwich was a good idea. At least to me. Then again, anything to do with food, I generally think is a good idea. lol!
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