Many kids who have experienced multiple placements (even just two) have difficulty with food - and the fears that come from those are very realistic ... some foster parents have a variety of special needs children and make a rule and stick to it ... including "I don't care if you like it, eat it or don't but you are not getting anything else" and in today's world that just is no longer feasible ... if she stays with you and as she develops relationships and activities you are just starting the age where they are never home when you are eating and you make adjustments to suit her schedule and yours at the same time ... we now require our 13 year old to eat with us only one night a week so he can be out and active - makes them happier. And if she were to make you a list she might be fearful that those are the only things you would prepare ... again unrealistic to you and I but very realistic to her. Our first placement years ago - 8 year old boy - had a history of stealing food from foster family's freezer ... eating things frozen even - we filled two cookie jars ... one healthy, one not ... and he could get anything out of them that he wanted but he had to have one of both each time ... the first few days we had to refill it a couple times ... even questioned our philosophy but by about day five he was only getting a snack once or twice a day and eventually not at all as security set in with foods and our being there ... Until you get a handle on what she likes or doesn't like ... figure out something she definitely likes and even though an inconvenience to you ... tell her for the first week until I see what you like that I cook and what you don't (putting the blame on you - not her - so she has no reason to feel guilty) ... I'm going to cook our dinner and say - a grilled cheese sandwich ... you can have your sandwich and then we want you to taste what I have cooked and let me know if you like the way I cook ... now granted she's immediately going to say she hates what you have cooked but make sure you cook that again through the week and see if you get the same response twice .... that way you are taking both the pressure and the control away from her and putting it in your hands.
Again - hoping this helps ... all advice from one or two coupled with two or more will give you magic solutions that work ... ok - I'll get off my computer and back to something useful before another day escapes!
