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Hi Dani,
We are in NY and adopted our son privately -- using an atty here rather than an agency. We've been with him since birth and he's now about to turn 2. We are actually in the process of trying to adopt again and are again using an atty rather than an agency. It works out well for us this way. I'd be happy to share more... Just PM me if you'd like info on that avenue.
As far as agencies - you can search online I can't remember the exact link but somewhere on the NYS website, you can find a list of agencies that are licensed in NY -- its a short list unfortunately! You're right that NY makes adoptions hard.
A few that come to mind are Friends in Adoption (they specialize in open adoption), Adoption Services in PA (very $$$) and something like Adoption Service Associates in TX. There is also First Coast Adoption Professionals down in FL. They have a very low upfront fee but the actual adoptions are expensive (30-40k) we've been told.
Hope this helps. Good luck on your adoption journey and do feel free to contact me if I can be of further help.
All the best, Ellie
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