as everyone has stated, the earlier the better. the more you all talk about it, the more comfortable you'll be with the subject. it's just one more way to make a family. we started with dd the moment she was placed with us. we also got a small photo album, like a small paperback with pictures of most of the relatives (including extended bfamilies) and it's her favorite book. we look through it at least once a day, point out the names of everyone (in each photo dd's in the arms of the relative) and hopefully it will reinforce just how many people truly care about her. we have pictures of bfamily in her bedroom and a stack of books about adoption and the diversity among families.
another link about adoption and talking to kids of all ages:
http://www.pactadopt.org/press/articles/talking.html
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-first time amom to dd, born 7/7/04
-placed in our arms by a very loving bmom 7/9/04
-bfather's rights terminated 9/7/04
-just connected with bdad!!! 2/9/05
-visited bfamilies for a week, awesome trip 6/05
-bfather signed legally binding open adoption
agreement 7/05
-finalized (woohoo!) 18th of November 2005
-Thinking about adoption #2!
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