[Katie63011]

I just got back from our final trip. We left our 2.5 year old at home for three one week trips. Like Liz, we had to make 2 first trips. I came home after court and my husband waited out the 10 days and brought our daughter home by himself. Wouldn't have done it any other way.

Our situation is unique in that we don't have any relatives that live close by and all sets of grandparents still work so them coming to us wasn't any option. We could have flown him to one of our sisters houses but felt that would have been too upsetting since he should stay as much in his routine as possible. He is in part time daycare and loves it.

We talked a lot about our trips with him prior to each trip and hired a sitter (she has babysat for him for 2 years and is older) to stay in our house. I think keeping him in his routine was what helped him keep it together. Our first trip, we videod ourselves reading him his bedtime books and he loved it. Second trip, it made him sad, so Meredith didn't play it after the first night. I left small gifts that Meredith could give him when she felt it was necessary, but not every night.

We called home and at first he was excited to talk to us (he is quite verbal for his age). The second trip, when I spoke to him, he cried but was fine with his dad. Third trip he was better. We only called about twice per trip. When we got home, he was extra clingy for about a week.

If you are in a region that doesn't waive the 10 days, I would highly recommend one of you returning early if possible. I think that it definitely helped my son transition to life with a new sibling. Don't get me wrong, we still have our moments, but he was not as needy as he had 2 weeks home with me before my DH and DD arrived. Also, I was refreshed and was able to take over and let me DH recover from the trip. It would have been hard with a new baby and a clingy child that had been left at home.

A few other things that helped with my son - I had a calendar that he could mark off the days and also had a good freind that he loves and sees all the time take him for a day to do "special things". Gave him something to look forward to.

No matter what you do, it will be hard on your child. I think it was harder on us though. I never thought that I could physically ache to see and touch someone so much. It was hard to leave my DH and DD in Russia though. I missed out on irreplaceable moments like leaving the orphanage with her, the embassy, getting off the plane etc. It was strange to be at home and back in my routine knowing that my DH and DD were in Russia. Also, we were home alone over X-mas which was strange. My husband travels a lot which is how we decided he would stay in Russia. My DS is used to him being gone more than me. I think my DH will cherish his moments with his DD, he definitely bonded quicker with her than our DS because of his one on one time with her.

Good Luck!