[hadams]

We left our then 3.5 y.o. at home when we traveled twice to adopt his sister. I won't sugar coat it. It was hard...hard on us, and hard on him.

Calling home did not help. He didn't get distance, and asked us to come home and check on him...just for a night. Broke my heart to hear his little voice.

We left gifts for him for each day, which he liked. We left him with a photo album of pictures of us, and we took a photo album of him with us. I got teary eyed every time I looked at it...but it helped us both. He helped me put both albums together, and he liked the idea of us having pictures of him with us.

About a month or two after we came home, after a particularlarly rough day, he broke down in tears. We talked about what made him so sad, and he sait it was not being a pilot.

I asked him why not being a pilot made him sad, and he said if he was a pilot, he could have flown the plane and been with us in Russia. Just about broke my heart.

We all survived though. We know there was no way we could possibly have survived taking him with us, and no way we could not have gone.

I think you are doing the right thing by having someone else come to your house, so that you minimize the number of changes.