[Yelena]

So here I am at work, bored beyond belief because it's a half-day and no one's here, and I can't really do my work without them. It's a ghost town. A perfect time to post on the forum!

Someone new to the process posted about how to "choose" a baby. Those of us in the midst of this process all know that we don't get a choice (in most cases), but that we are presented with a referral, and that most of the time, that baby becomes ours.

But, 7 months ago, I had the same concern: How on earth would I choose a baby? I had the mistaken notion that the agency would set out a photo album, then my DH and I would page through it until we found the most appealing baby! I was afraid it would be like shopping from a baby catalog! Oops, I sure was wrong!

And another thing: one of the many reasons we chose Guatemala was that we did not want any birthmother contact. I was absolutely certain of this. I know there are many people who believe strongly in open adoption, but it's not for me. Last week, however, we received the DNA results along with a beautiful photo of Dulce Maria and her birthmother. It really is beautiful -- almost a portrait, not the "mugshot" I was expecting. I feel very drawn to this woman; I never anticipated the connection I would feel to her. She is giving me the greatest gift that could ever be, and I would be happy to know her some day.

So, what kind of things did you think before you started the process that were completely off base?