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I'm a very open adoption birthmother rounding her 2nd year.
I have a good relationship with my daughter's family and we visit as often as possible (sometimes even more than calls or letters- it's just easier to get together). My parents and some extended family are involved in this relationship as well.
I dubbed the ambivelent days of my pregnancy "parenting days" and "adoption days" depending on which side I happened to be on that day. I planned the entire pregnancy for both outcomes partly because 1.) the birthfather refused to sign until the last minute, 2.) I had extremely mixed feelings about the whole thing and 3.) I wanted to make sure it was right before going on with an adoption plan. To this day I still have "parenting days" and "adoption days." I've done a lot of healing, a lot of crying and a lot of loving since my daughter's placement, but the void will never be filled and she can never be replaced.
Still, I am blessed to have found a family that will let me share in the life of the girl I love so much and I hope that continues to grow as we get further in to our relationship.
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