[crick]

cb - don't know if this will help but I have scheduled days or at least a few hours of the day where my kids get to be "Ruler". Meaning they get to choose the games, choose the songs in the car, gets to be my helper in the kitchen etc. I have found this helps build up their esteem a bit and gives the boys more control to say "no" to their sister who likes to be the boss. It also teaches her that she is not in control over her brothers and also has to listen and play their games etc. Granted I have overruling power etc., but when they are playing amongst themselves, I needed a way to stop my dd from taking charge all the time. For us it has helped a lot.

Another thing I do with dd is if it isn't her turn to be in charge and she bosses anyway, then she owes her brother a chore or a favor. This can be anything from picking up their toys to drawing them a picture etc.

You also might try giving her a specific task to do for play time to help get her more comfortable playing alone. Instead of just giving her playdough, give her the playdough and also tell her to make a flower, or whatever you think she might like to make. Hopefully soon her imagination will take over, but it might help to give her absolute tasks for awhile.