[madfostermomma]

I recently had a fd in my home for 15 months who came to us at 13months old. We absolutely fell in love with her and when she was reunified last month with a person that I dont see as fit and where I am not completely satisfied she is safe, I was devastated. She was 27 months old and way above average intelligence.

10 days after she left we agreed to an a placement for 2 fost adopt boys ages 4 and 2 ( who will be 3 in February ). I'm still not sure why I agreed as I really even didnt have time to mourn the loss of my little girl, but I did and they came

These guys are totally differernt - the 4 yr old has been in 4 homes plus numerous respite care homes. He has massive speech delays plus some cognitive delays. He talks but it's hard to discern what he says a lot. The youngest has motor skill problems and speech delays.
They both need a lot of attention.

I am trying to bond but it's just not the same as my other foster daughter. I love her so much and still miss her immensely. I know it's not these guys faults and I am trying but God some days it's hard.

I am not truly bonded to them although I have gotten better and am getting fond of them. I keep telling my husband it's only been a month for them here and they are older so it's harder. I know it took a few months to bond with her but for some reason I am beating myself up for not being in total love with them.

I just need some reassurance that the fake it til you make it approach is okay and that things will get easier as time goes on. Anyone have any similar stories? Sorry with Christms and everything I just needed to vent - last night was a rough one thinking about her and having the oldest hang on me and call me mommy.