[scandi]

I agree with the others that long term foster care is not the option. I am a child protection worker and an adoptive parent. I can say that I have given a whole new perspective on the adoption concept to my coworkers with all that I have had to do with my son. I am currently working only 6 hours a day because I have to pick him up and take him to school. THis is because of having to switch to a school out of the district for the services that he needs. We finalized in March 05. He is still fighting it in someways. But he has also come along way in the past year and a half. In fact, (don't want to scare anyone) but most of his worst fighting in the home was pre adoption and outside of the home post adoption. The school has been absolutely wonderful in dealing with his behaviors there. I am constantly making changes around the house for whatever he comes up with next. Door alarms, frig lock, camera monitor, locked cabinet in the bathroom. This is all to show him that I am here for him and there is nothing that he can throw at me that will cause me to send him back to the foster parents were he was living. He can verbalize that the only reason he wants to go back is because "they didn't know my tricks" - when asked to name 5 reasons he wants to go back. When asked to name 5 he wants to say the first two are "you love and care about me" and "you are the only one who fought for me". Has it been a living he.... for the past year - yeah it has but the good times are starting to outweigh the bad times.

Alot of kids will "fight" the concept of "forever family" because they don't believe that that concept really exists. I would say to anyone - if they feel this is something that they can commit to no matter what then for sure fight for that child. THat is what they have been looking for most of their lives. Someone who cares enough to fight for them.

just my two cents hope it helps