I had an EXTREMELY hard time bonding with our fs. He's 13 months now, we got him when he was 8 months. He cried all the time, specifically at me! He wouldn't let us hold him, feed him, change him, basically any nurture he had to accept from us he resisted and still does. It got so bad that I told our sw that it wasn't a good match and then BOOM a couple days later his behavoir started to change. I really believe God had everything to do with that!
Needless to say he is still with us. Things are much better and we're moving forward with the adoption but it is still very challenging. We are working with an organization that helps foster/adoptive/guardians bond with their children. We have an attachment therapist and we're starting Theraplay next week. The most difficult part of all of this was that my expectations of being a foster parent were unrealistic. I thought that it didn't matter what baby it was, I could love all of them. Well, it turns out that there are plenty of times that it just isn't a "good match" and it's ok to fell that way. I would say try everything in your power to bond with this child. Search the internet for ideas, ask you social worker, call your dr. Whatever it takes. After you do all of this if you still feel this way, it's ok!
Obviously, every move a child has to make is devistating but it has to be the right fit for your family. When I asked our sw to remove G from our house I was devistated. I felt like a failure, like I was giving up on him. Through our therapist I have learned that bonding with a child can be extremely hard and it doesn't always work out. The best thing I did was to be honest with myself and ask for help, EVERYWHERE!
I know now that God put G in our life and he's suppossed to be with us but it's been a loooooooong hard road...........