[meowylyn]

Jules,

My heart goes out to you. I know what you are going through. Although we did not have a failed foster placement, we went through one failed adoptive placement. The child lived in our home for 9 weeks but he was just too much for us to handle. We were in fear for our lives towards the end of the placement. It was the toughest decision of our adult lives, but we had to let go. I have never experienced such grief, ever.

After the failed placement, we had a difficult time with family members (one actually said, "How could you do that? That poor child will never be the same!") and co-workers who just didn't understand that we could not meet the needs of this child.

I was convinced that we would be blacklisted forever! The agency we had been dealing with provided NO support whatsoever to us after the failed placement.

I am pleased to say that several months later, we had another placement that ultimately worked out (through a different agency). We finalized the adoption in September.

The right match will come along. Please do not beat yourself up over this. There are children out there for you.

I found comfort in some cd's available from adoption tapes.

In particular, I liked the one entitled "What about Me? Helping Parents after Disruption".

Hope this helps in some way.

Marilyn