[swsoutherlands]

It's such an emotional rollercoaster with the two foster kids I have. At first we though they'd definately go home within a few months, then we thought they might stay and become adoptable, then another family members stepped up to take them, but failed their background check, and now we're left without any idea whatsoever what will happen in the next 8 months. The parents are already starting to flake on some parts of their service plan-- besides both being on meth, which has a LOOOOOWWWW recovery rate. How do you keep yourself sane? How do you keep your hope alive?

We intended to foster to adopt since we can't have any more children of our own. We really hoped to be able to adopt our first placement, but these kids have soooo many issues because of their parents, aunts, and ICWA (they are half Navajo) it's totally a wild card as to what will happen with them. Even our seasoned Guardian Ad Litem and social workers are at a loss to say what will happen (even within the next month!) I find myself hoping for them to stay forever, then pushing that thought far away as soon as something happens that makes me think that they are going home in 8 months.

Up and down; back and forth; I never know where I stand or what to expect. Somehow I need to be able to let go of wanting to know what's going on because it's making it sooo much harder to really love these kids. But loving them is so hard, because if they just leave..... Sigh. Please help me know how you who have been doing this for a long time deal with these issues. Thanks.