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Funny - I was just thinking about you, Faux Cloud. There was another "thinking about adoption for my baby" that just popped up today on the forum. I thought of you after seeing about 6-7 adoptive moms quickly responding.
I absolutely agree with you - I think alot of what many still cling to makes adoption neater and less "messy" in their minds at least. Even as reflected in terminology, IMHO. The term "placed" sounds so much more logical, and neat than "gave away" or some of the other old terms. "Placed" sounds to me like a reasonable, well thought out decision, which I know some women feel that it is, not giving your own newborn to strangers to raise.
Even open adoptions are evolving slowly because they are "messy", more work, more complicated. The fact that they are generally better for the child is something that I think many people fight and really don't want to believe. Guess that nasty word that gets me in SO much trouble "DENIAL" is rampant in all sectors of adoption.
I once asked an adoptive mom why she felt that many adoptive parents seem to fight so hard sometimes to prevent search and reunion - she said because they are aware of that bond being there - and it scares them. Said they fear losing their child because they realize how strong that bond can be.
Honestly, until my son found me at reunion, I didn't know myself how strong it was. I had spent 32 years trying to forget it was there. Once that awakening occurs, you just know - and it makes adoption seem so much more significant - and so much more complicated. I had no idea until reunion - what adoption was really like.
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