[~*Max*~]

...even though they are going to die very young? I hate having to tell the ones old enough to understand that Dexter and Cameron have bad hearts and there is no surgery to help them and they may drop dead with no obvious notice - their hearts just give out. Imagine your foster child, who's already been through more than enough, finding your foster cat dead.

Maybe it's just me who can't deal with it. My heart's broken over Dexter especially already, who has a long laundry list of problems with his heart. Even before bringing foster children into the picture, I am really conflicted. And I wonder how I'll deal with children with problems when I am so sad over just my foster kittens (and furious at their "birth father" so to speak, since all he had to do was neuter or spay ONE of his cats and this never would have happened). If I can't find the grace to forgive him, how will I deal with birth families?

So as you can see, these kittens bring up a LOT of conflicted emotions in me! I had been very firm that I would not keep any of them, but that was before the heart problems were discovered.

On the balance, is keeping the two (as foster cats, which means the rescue agency will pay their vet visits - good thing as it was over $900 AFTER the discount for the boys to see the cardiologist for the first visit!) boys likely to be helpful to the children who comes through my doors? Maybe little ones would be able to forget that their lives will be short and just enjoy them. I've read how pets can be therapeutic for children, which is the main reason I am considering keeping them...but I don't think I can stand knowing that congestive heart failure is waiting at the all-too-soon end for them.

Sorry for rambling...it's a very hard decision to make...and this before I even receive a placement!