[csw]

Our son was around 3 when we started IVF..did that for 5 years..at the same time did foster parent training..then when he was 9 we started trying domestic adoption..when he was 10 we had a failed match.
When he was 11 we started the paperwork for our Guatemalan adoption and she was born the day before he turned 12..she was home 9 months later..he turned 13 the day after she turned 1 year old.

We found he was much more excited when he was 9 and 10 then when he was 12..at that age he was much more into his peers..he said he could 'take it or leave it' and 'doesn't matter if I have a brother or sister'..
We had tried to adopt an older boy at the same time as our infant daughter..and it just didn't work out.

What I found was that after Ana was home (and she was/is very demanding) we tried to have 1x a week where one of us, generally me, had 1 on 1 time with him..even for just a few hours in the evening..
You wouldnt believe the sibling issues we have, even with a 12 year age difference..she got more than me..she always gets everything..and when my son tries to give me a hug Ana goes running up and cries "my mommy'...

Because of our son's special needs (severe ADHD and LD's) he is not really able to help me with her and in fact when they are together I have to really keep an eye on them! But he has learned to change her diaper and once in awhile will do that, and he is teaching her how to skateboard..his favorite activity.

They didn't really have any trouble bonding..but there is def. sibling rivalry..I was so hoping to adopt another girl..so Ana would have someone closer to her age, and everytime we start the paperwork good ol hubby backs out (we have had 2 really tough adoptions, plus failed domestic and 4 failed IVF)..so we'll see..don't worry about the kids spending too much time with the baby..but do make each of your children feel special after the baby is home..