[sneezyone]

I guess if the obligation to maintain contact worked both ways I'd consider it. What I don't like is that many agreements specify what the aparents will do but do not place the same requirements upon birthparents. I agreed, when we adopted dd, to remain in contact b/c I think that's important for dd to have some way to get her questions answered as the years go by - but I have no such committment from bmom. If I were to ever stop sending my notes into thin air, I'd be condemned pretty quick as not acting in dd's best interests -- but the reverse is often not true. There isn't the same opposition to bparents not keeping in touch. Can you imagine the uproar if a bmom or bdad was dragged into arbitration or court b/c they moved on with their life?