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Originally Posted By Mary

I'm so glad that someone else has brought up this subject. My husband and I have 3 bio children (ages 3-7) and we have a pretty perfect life. Our girls are wonderful, happy, and sweet little girls and I'm pregnant to boot. That said, we've also decided to adopt a 22 month old from Bulgaria. I look at the picture of the little Bulgarian girl and I'm in love with her! But, sometimes in the middle of the night, I think: "What am I doing?!" What if this child has attachment problems and is unable to bond with us? What if I can't love her as much as my three girls? And on a totally different note--and only since 9/11--what if I die because the plane blows up? Pretty extreme thoughts... (Add all this to a one failed international adoption--we went to the country and came home without the baby because we felt nothing for him and were worried that we never would.) Then during the day, I remind myself why we're doing this--to give a child a family and because we wanted another child in our family. I remind myself that people can choose to love, that bonding can take time, that it doesn't have to be instantaneous. I look at her picture and think how beautiful she is and how happy she looks and how anxious I am to get to know her. And I'm more reassured. All this aside, I would still like to hear from anyone else experiencing this. I so appreciated reading about it from the adoptee's point of view. That was very nice to hear.