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Before placement, the adoptive parents, birthfather and I worked together on a "Cooperative Agreement." It very specifically outlined things like contact before the birth...would a-parents attend doctors visits, who would be my labor coach, who would contact who when the baby was born, who would be in the delivery room...and contact in the hospital...who would hold the baby first, who would cut the cord, who would get hospital photos, original birth certificate and contact after placement-was everyone open to giving and receiving presents, how often would we visit, send letters and pictures, etc. It was VERY detailed.
It was made very clear that this document was not legally binding, but we discussed how it was morally binding. It has worked very well for us as a framework, but after 10 years I rarely think about it. We haven't followed the strictness of the structure since the very beginning, but have followed the spirit that was agreed upon 100%.
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