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Originally Posted By Lisa

Hello, here is my story........I had a tumultuous childhood and was what you would call a problem teen. I was in and out of trouble all the time and doing alot of drinking and drugging and looking for love in all the wrong places if ya know what I mean. In spite of that part of my life I always have had a good heart and try to do right by others at all times. When I was 17 I became pregnant and it was 100% my fault for not being responsible enough to prevent it from happening. I believe in a womans right to choose and would never deny the right to have an abortion to any woman but it is not a choice I could ever make for myself. As soon as I realized I was pregnant I knew that adoption was the way I would go. Perhaps if just one person had offered to help me raise my child I would have chosen differently but not a single soul ever said " hey I can help " I was mature enough to not smoke, drink or do drugs through my pregnancy. I went to prenatal classes and on my own without any pressure from anybody I went to social services and chose a family to raise my daughter. I was never informed about open adoption and had no idea that was possible or I would have gone that way. I gave birth to my beautiful girl and was able to hold her and feed her and visit with her as often as I wanted while I was in the hospital. 10 days later the adoptive parents took her away. I immediately went back to my old ways of partying hard and did all I could to forget that I gave my daughter away. Of course it was painful and of course a huge part of me wanted to keep her but I knew in my heart that wasn't the right choice for me at that time.
Well now its 20 years later. My life was pretty wild for many years but in the last 10 I have found a wonderful man that I love dearly and we have a beautiful 7 year old daughter together. This past June I found the daughter I gave up and she is beautiful and has had a very wonderful life. Her parents are fantastic people and gave her everything I hoped she would have and most of all love. She loves her parents very much and they are a very close family. They have all welcomed me into their lives with open arms and I have been in their thoughts and prayers for all these years. I have always believed I had a guardian angel that kept me from REALLY messing up and now maybe I think it was my daughter. Her parents told her about me from an early age and she has always wanted to find me to make sure that I am ok. Now we are all ok and everything is good and this spring I will be a grandma.My daughter calls me by my first name but she introduces me as her other mom and she is allowing me to be a real grandma to her child so I am truly blessed. I am one of the lucky ones and I made the right decision for both myself and my daughter and now I have the proof, she is absolutely awsome. And as for me, now that I know she is ok its like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. If you do choose adoption I highly recommend some form of open adoption because the not knowing is what really gets you. Its hard to not have your child but if you at least know that they are well loved and cared for you can live with it better. You will see alot of negativity on this board and you should take that to heart also because there are horror stories out there and bad things can happen but it isn't always that way. Just think it through, do your research and be very careful and good luck and god bless.