[sak9645]

Nik,

I think that the adopted kids who weren't welcome at Jewish day schools were applying to Orthodox ones.

The issue does not relate to what religion the child was taught in his/her birth country. The issue relates to the nature of the child's conversion to Judaism, if any.

Very few internationally adopted children come from Jewish birth families. Sometimes, the religion of the birthfamily is known to be non-Jewish. And sometimes, it is easy to guess that the religion of the birthparents was not Jewish. For example, there aren't many Chinese Jews, so even though my daughter was abandoned, and her birthparents are unknown, it is assumed she did not have Jewish birthparents.

Most Reform rabbis say that an adopted child is Jewish if either of his/her birthparents was Jewish. Conservative and Orthodox rabbis (and a few holdout Reform ones) say that an adopted child is Jewish only if his/her birthmother was Jewish.

Some (though not all) Reform rabbis say that if a non-Jewish child comes into a Jewish family that plans to raise him/her as a Jew, then it is not necessary for him/her to go to a mikvah or have a formal conversion ceremony. A boy needs to have a brit milah if he was not circumcised prior to adoption, but that's all. (And many Reform rabbis do not require any particular ceremony if the boy WAS circumcised, but non-ritually).

Conservative and Orthodox rabbis, however, and some Reform rabbis, do feel that he/she must be converted in a mikvah before he/she can be considered Jewish, can become Bar or Bat Mitzvah, can marry a Jewish person, etc.

Conservative rabbis are comfortable with any conversion that is done in a Kosher mikvah. And they are comfortable with the required witnesses being either male or female rabbis. Any child converted in a Kosher mikvah, with the required ritual and witnesses, will be considered fully Jewish in the eyes of the Conservative community, and eligible to participate fully in the Jewish community. (Boys, of course, must have brit milah or, if previous circumcised non-ritually, hatafat dam brit, before conversion.)

Orthodox rabbis, however, will not accept a conversion that is not done in an Orthodox mikvah, with Orthodox male rabbis/scholars as witnesses. And most will not accept for Orthodox conversion any child who will not be raised in an Orthodox home. Therefore, even if a Conservative person wanted to have an Orthodox conversion for his/her child, he/she might not be able to find an Orthodox mikvah or group of rabbis that would arrange it.

So if an adopted child who did not have a Jewish mother either did not go to mikvah or went to a non-Orthodox mikvah, he/she would not be considered Jewish by an Orthodox rabbi. And an Orthodox school will generally not admit a child who is not considered to be Jewish.

The Charles E. Smith Jewish Day School is Conservative in its orientation. However, it welcomes all members of the Washington area Jewish community. The families at the school run the gamut from secular Israelis to people who observe Shabbat strictly. The Moms include a few very traditional married women who wear longish skirts and cover their heads -- and a few modern lesbians raising children with their partners.

Because the school is non-Orthodox, it does not expect adopted children to have had Orthodox conversions, though some of the kids at school surely have had them.

I do not know for certain whether the school, being Consevative, requires at least a Conservative conversion, or whether it will accept a child whose Reform parents were advised that mikvah wasn't necessary. The school is open to all segments of the Jewish community, so it may well accept the child who was not converted in a mikvah, but I cannot be sure.

Having taken my daughter into the mikvah at Adas Israel, a Conservative synagogue, I must say that the ceremony is full of very powerful symbolism. I practically shouted the blessings as I completed the dunking of my daughter and she was "born" as a Jew. I felt that I was participating in a ritual that bound her more tightly to me, to my family, to my ancestors and to the Jewish community.

I, personally, would urge Jewish adoptive parents of all stripes to consider mikvah in some form. Even the Orthodox agree that you don't actually need a mikvah in a building. Any body of "living waters" -- such as the ocean -- can be a Kosher mikvah. So some families may well want to design an outdoor ceremony -- weather permitting -- that will give them the sense of "birthing" their child as a Jew.

Many families are so scared about brit milah that they can't relax and enjoy the occasion that brings their adopted sons into the covenant. And, of course, adopted daughters don't have anything like brit milah. So mikvah is often a much more comfortable way to say, "We've done all the adoption and readoption and citizenship and Social Security stuff. So we know you are ours. But we want to bind you tightly, not just to us, but to our family, our community, and Jews throughout time and all over the world."

Sharon