[digdug]

My wife and I have been married four years. Her son is 9 years old. I've been in their life since he was two and am the only dad he's ever known.

Here are the facts about his biodad:

Left my wife when her son was one year old.
Is in the Air Force
In the first two years of her sons life, he would only make CS payments when she called to ask where it is or when she called his commanding officer to complain. Even then he only send a percentage of what he was supposed to pay.
When her son turned three, she had biodads wages garnished to ensure proper payment.
Biodad is remarried with two kids.
Biodad declared bankruptcy
Biodad has visitation rights, but my wife has sole custody.
Biodad last saw her son almost seven years ago when he was three. Being in the military, he was stationed overseas ( his choice).
Biodad sends a card and gift for Christmas and birthday. No letters, no phone calls.
We recently got a phone call from biodad stating that he's now stationed here in the US again and wants to visit his son.

++++

My stepson is very confused, conflicted and in some emotional turmoil over this. His biodad is every bit a stranger to him. They spoke on the phone this weekend and my son said it made him feel funny inside.

For the last two years, he's gotten very upset when someone says his last name. He has requested that we not use it at home or when he's introduced to someone. He's told us that he feels left out and wants to use my last name.

I very much want to adopt my stepson. We're afraid that biodad will put up a fight over this. He's a real loser and never calls when he says he will, or visits when he says he will, etc. However he's made it clear that he does not recognize me as a father figure for HIS son and that he considers himself the rightful father.

What can I do? Do I have a case for adoption? My wife is worried about her son and his mental health as he is very confused over all of this.