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Originally Posted By To Dana et. al from Korean adoptee

Hi I hope you were posting back to me the Korean adoptee. If not, I apologize for trampling on anyones' toes. My adoptive parents had three boys each two years apart. They wanted to have a girl and to ensure that, they adopted a little girl from Korea... Me. Hence, I was the youngest and the only girl, adopted and Korean. I was and I'm still the apple of my daddy's eye, even at 27 years old. My relationship with my brothers is one of true support and love. Being the youngest among the two now living, I had a wonderful relationship with all three growing up. The brother closest to me in age became my best friend. We did everything together and I've been told that when I arrived home for the first time, he would come and sleep on the floor by my crib. He was my protector. He taught me so many wonderful things in his short life. All my brothers treated me with the utmost respect, along with the usual torture that proceeds in being with three brothers. While going through my jr high and high school years... my relationship with my brothers become closer and more meaningful. The fact that I was Korean and or adopted was not one bit the slightest issue. It's funny even now, my brothers do not perceive me as being Korean or adopted. They fail to differentiate my physical characteristics, nor culture attributes. When they go to describe me or introduce me to someone, they have never mentioned "this is my Korean adopted sister", it's usually "this is my single available sister". My belief on being raised with biological brothers and sisters is this... your adopted son or daughter will become another member of your family. Period. Famiy is family regardless of blood ties. My assumption is this, the way you raise your biological children will affect their outlook on having an adopted sibling. Let me explain, there are pros and cons... my parents were not privy to all the resources to educate our family about Korea and my heritage. In this regard, there wasn't much abilty to notice or be exposed to a different culture of that of my brothers outside the physical characteristics. The silver lining to that is... in not having the resources out there, my parents never constantly placed in any of ours minds that there needed to be something distinguishing me from them. I was raised the life of a Swiss German Anglo woman. In time and with my parents support, I was able to explore my own heritage and yet be proud of my adoptive family's heritage. My brothers are very protective of me and love me as a genuine member of the family and I them. So IMHO, I would hope the issue of bringing into your family an international adoptee would not be a scary decision. The bottom line is: you are providing a home for a child who without you, may not have a better life. And the way you teach your children about cultures, diversity, adoption and what all it entails will benefit you in the long run. And if you choose not to integrate that into your parenting... to be perfectly honest, I don't find it detrimental on how your family will relate to the adoptee. Society is another story. My parents didn't know better and I turned out just fine with a loving supportive relationship with both my brothers. Sorry so long. Good Luck and feel free to ask any other questions. Kimberly