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Old 11-25-2005, 06:46 AM
mn125 mn125 is offline
angry adoptee
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 233
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jenand22
Do you use first names, Mom, Dad, Grandma, etc?

I am an adoptee from a closed adoption, and so, unfortunately, my aparents consider themselves to be my "only" mother and father.

I am reunited with my original family (unbeknownst to my afamily) and I use the term(s) Mom, Momma, Mother, Grandmother, Aunt, Uncle, and cousin when speaking of them as if I would have had I grown up with them.

At this time in my life, I have been included as family within my hubbys clan almost twice as long as I had been in my adoptive "only" family. They are a very blended group! My dearest Mother-in-law has been married several times (we just call her Liz LOL)

But it is at this time of year, I have my fondest memories of Christmas gatherings of family with her. She and her current husband have in the past made arrangements for 3 former husbands, including my husbands 1st father, their current wives, and all their children to gather under her roof for an entire week at Christmas. As only the Grinch could relate- my heart grew ten times that Christmas morning, as dh made his way around the breakfast table patting each man on the back and saying "Good Morning Dad" "Good Morning Dad" "Good Morning Dad" ect LOL. Each of these men had parented my husband at some point during his life. His relationship was strong enough with each of them to feel secure enough to call them each Dad. There were no hurt feelings, or issues of ownership as in "I am your only father". It opened my heart and mind to having more than one......and to ponder- is there really such a thing as an EX-mother and EX-father?
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adoptee reunited WITHOUT state, court, judge, agency, or amom approval. Woohoo!
I have my OBC!! pfffffffft!
I missed her, I missed my siblings, I missed the connection, the identity, the ethnic background, the medical history..... I lost something very important in my life for 40 plus years. I am thankful to finally have all that back
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