[shirleyville]

KR,

I wish that your experience had been a more positive one.

I have to echo Nicole, on this one! I am terribly sorry you had such a negative experience......and sadly, there are parents that become parents in all sorts of different ways (adoption and biological included) that make a lot of mistakes along the way -- and some that flat out should never have children in their lives at all. Poor parenting comes in as many different packages as there are unique situations....it's a sobering fact of life, to be sure.
I also have to echo Linnie in saying....

I KNOW that I would not have been better off raised by my biological mother.

That also goes for my biological father, as well.
While they are (or were, in my deceased birthfather's case) lovely people, I know, without fail, my life wouldn't be anything it is today had I remained in their lives. Extreme poverty, alcoholism, abuse and a "family dynamic" of bitterness toward life, would have placed me on an entirely different path early in life.
My adoptive parents were't perfect, by any means....families are never perfect -- but I was raised in a moral, stable, financially secure life. I had an opportunity for education and experiences that I would never have been afforded, had I been raised by my biological family. I wouldn't have traded one moment of it for anything -- not life with my biological family....not for ten million dollars.
In so many instances, we have to use our God Given attitudes, apptitudes, and drive to rise above situations in our lives -- to choose a strong, positive life for ourselves, rather than looking to the past as a "measure" of who and what we are. We can choose to be a victim or a victor. It's ultimately up to us to decide which to be.
Again, I am so sorry for the circumstances you have faced, in your past.....you have an amazing life ahead of you, so focus on the present and the future, and choose the victor role for yourself!!!!! Don't let the past hold you down!!
Hugs,
Sally