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I didn't mean to sound negaitve ...I'm sorry if i came off that way.
I agree in a newborn adoption it is more about matching up families with common wants and desires.
If I were to have done an infant adoption i probably would have seeked for the same kind of contact for all my children...just as you are...(knowing their aren't any gaurantees). I would have wanted my kids to have a similiar reltaionship with each of their birthfamilies(or i would have chosen a sibling group(what we originally hoped for going through fostercare).
I was just trying to say that it's ok to have different relationships with different birthparents. The children will come to terms with their individual heritage and relationship...but that the most important thing(at least for my son) is to know that we are his MOM & DAD now and FOREVER and will never leave him, will never not have contact with him. Once i explained that to him....it didn't really matter that his bmom doesn't write....he knew he was loved and special and was AT HOME and always will be!!!!
If i were ever to adopt...again and have the choice for an open relationship or closed i would go for a semi-open realtionship and start that way. I do feel it is best for the child...to have some contact..or a way of contacting their birthfamily...instead of wondering and questioning their whole life and having to go through the trauma of a re-union. I think it's better to know from the start and always be in contact...at least through letters...so it doesn't have to be so difficult on the child.
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