[Shoshana]

Thanks, Devora, I ordered the book! It's en route from Amazon...

Aniles -- I can't imagine a parent "forcing" information on their child, nor can I imagine that basic information that most people take for granted (i.e., eye color, height, nationality, religion, etc. etc.) could be traumatic. If an adoptee is truly not at all curious, then there would be no reason to share information about his/her past. Then again, I can't imagine NOT sharing basic information -- if there is truly --no-- curiosity (versus a defensive/protective posture), then the information would be completely neutral, and certainly not harmful.

Personally, I'm much more secure knowing that I have tried/am trying to gather info re Xiomara's bio family, and share info with them in return, than to do nothing. If it doesn't work out, I tried. If she's not interested, nothing is lost. If she does need to know, I'll be able to facilitate.

When I think about it, this is kind of a non-topic -- if age-appropriate information is shared when it is available, then there is no trauma, and knowledge becomes the norm. I have a hunch that "trauma" is more often created by a lack of info, than by the reverse. I think knowledge is much closer to a "normal" state of being than the lack of knowledge that pervaded the institution of adoption in my era.