[LisaCA]

one of the differences between newborn adoption and foster care is that for the most part (and there are some cases where this isn't true), there's no "right" child. I know I could have raised any of the children that were presented to us (and there were several) and loved them as I love dd. For us it was about matching families. We felt that with most of the situations, these bfamilies would find a family that they matched with if we decided it wasn't the right situation for us. With foster care, it's a very different situation.

yes there are differences, and you can't always predict the future, but I feel strongly that I need to do what I can to maintain some balance in the family. We will strive for an open relationship, well aware that the relationship could change at any moment. dd's bfamily initially wanted a semi-open, but that changed the moment of her birth.

life isn't equal or fair, but I feel it's my job to make it as fair as I can, as equal as I can. Just as I wouldn't show how I may favor one child over the other, I won't intentionally set up a family dynamic that may cause problems for some.