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Dear Mommy3,
Is babe she or he? Not sure so I will use "he".
I have a special place in my heart for the "shy" child. My oldest, a son - now 25, was the typical "shy" child. It was a real struggle to get him to interact, not cry around strangers, stay with babysitters .... you know it all! As he got older, I realized that, for him, his "shyness" was just his way of saying "I am a very private person, please do not violate my space". My big moment of revelation was when he was in the sixth grade. He had to write an essay on peer pressure and bullying. He wrote a nice factual essay on statistics, on school policies, etc. His teacher asked him to do a rewrite and discuss his feelings about the topic. He showed me his teacher's comments with big tears in his eyes and said, "but, Mom, my feelings are none of her business."
Crick's comments are right on. I would like to add that you are doing the right thing by not letting anyone label him as "shy". He is reserved and has a strong sense of his own space - very wise and mature for a 2 1/2 year old, IMHO! My advice is to gentlely encourage him in social situations. Be supportive but don't push. If he pulls back, let him and don't let anyone criticize him for his reaction. People can be very ignorant sometimes! He may prefer more mature, more cognitive actvities. Quiet library story hour, art, one-on-one games, etc.
As he grows older, help him to understand and develop his special qualities. Look for opportunites to encourage and reward him for interacting. When my son was about 12, he hated to use the telephone. He had saved his money to buy a "Game-Boy" but I told that he could not buy it unless he found the cheapest price. He faced his fear and called all of the stores in our area and figured out how to deal with indifferent, impatient people to reach his goal. I was so proud!!
With your non-judgmental support, your son will learn to interact with others in a way that is comfortable for him. You will develop a deep, strong bond with him as you help him to appreciate the world on his terms. You will become his sounding board and his cheerleader for life!! (Lucky us!)
How is my "baby" doing? He is still very private about his feelings but has a wide circle of friends, a beautiful fiance, a very successful career, and adores my husband and me because we encouraged but never pushed.
You are so lucky to have a very special, sensitive child!!
Happy G'Ma
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