[mommy3]

My son was very shy (we always called it "reserved" so he didn't get the "SHY" label when he was younger and he's still fairly careful now at 8. Honestly, I assisted him to get through some situations when he was your child's age and mainly allowed him to set his boundaries within reason. He needed time to get to know people, period and called it "needing his space." When we met people or they came to our home, we'd explain that he was a little (ha, a lot) reserved and liked to have a little space until he got to know them. With that, many times it only took 10 min., and then he'd be right in there enjoying himself. With adults it took longer, with children sometimes it took much less, depending on how pushy they were. Pushy NEVER worked for him.

Just prior to Kindergarten at 5, I MADE him start gymnastics and 1:1 swimming lessons, so he'd transition better. He had been in preschool for a few years, but he knew that setting very well. The pushing I did took some real maneuvering, but it helped him so much at that crossroads in his life.

For now, with your child, my thoughts are that you need to give your child the space to be his/herself. I remember talking with a very outgoing checker at the groc store (who is a college student) who told me once after he'd talked to my ds (and my ds didn't answer) when my ds was about 3, "Oh, don't worry, I was so shy when I was little, and now I'm involved in everything -- it's cool to be able to be yourself."

Just my 2 cents. susan