[JulesInColorado]

Ok, I've been thinking about posting for a couple of days. This last week has been the week from h*ll. Long story.

For those of you who know me in real life you are probably not aware of our situation, mainly cause I have not had time to talk.

Ok, here is the situation (just looking for support). We are in foster/adopt program with our agency. We got a call for two girls ages 32 months (little over 2.5yrs) and 3yrs. (4 in January). The girls are the two youngest of a sib group of 5. We went to a presentation, this is the best one of them all, went smoothly. We got a chance to speak to fmom who had girls and all. We felt confident and so we told county and told our agency worker that we would go ahead with the placement.

Foster mom had given her 30 days notice due to personal things going on so she was anxious to get the girls placed with us. We requested a visit a couple days before placement and at first she said yes and next day she called and said she was up sick all night and cancelled, then called 3 more times to keep cancelling.

Ok, so next thing was last Thursday was the placement day. The fmom shows up dumps off kids, the county worker is trying to write up paperwork in a busy parking lot and I am sitting here trying to keep 2 and 3yr. old out of harms way, my DH finally says "can we go inside and do this?" so then we get to sit in busy lobby while everyone stares at us. Ok, so then she finishes paperwork, we load kids in our car and take off.

Our agency worker told us to get girls something from us like a teddy bear to give to them etc. So we got them teddy bears.

Ok, so without going into graphic detail - immediately, when we left to go home we knew without a doubt that there was s*xual abuse. Also, coming from the 4 yr. old very bad language toward her younger sister and animalistic behavior. We were in rush hour traffic and TOTALLY stressed. We have been warned that most kids girls and boys will have been s*xually abused but nothing can really prepare you for the "behaviors" that come with it.

The sibling group was 3 girls, 2 boys. Boys in different home, older girl from a different father accused father of other children of indecent behavior with her. We were told that the two youngest we in play therapy and none of these behaviors came out but that there 3rd foster mom had said she saw them, so that's why they had put them in therapy.

Within 5 minutes of getting the girls it was apparent to us that there is NO WAY that they could not have known and we felt a bit jaded. It made us wonder if fmom cancelled visit on purpose (can't be certain) and if this was downplayed (can't be certain either).

I just knew that this situation was not going to work out for us, I did not sleep a wink Thursday night and was just sick to my stomach. The next morning I called the county worker, I had left her a message. I forgot that last weekend was a holiday weekend. Well, needless to say there was NO way to get a hold of her. Ok, so I call our agency worker. **Background on our agency worker is her way or highway, also promotes "unconditional love" meaning we don't get to visit with or see pics of children before making decision (not sure if this is agency thing or her thing). Anyway, I told her that I was very overwhelmed, that I felt that there was no way that county could not have known, I asked for girls to be placed elsewhere that day. Ok, so my agency worker (mind you we paid them) says "I can't believe you are doing this," you are "reprehensable" and you realize that this means we can not EVER place a child with you again? I had a feeling she would say that but I didn't care at that point. You name it, she said everything/anything to make me feel horrible!

Ok, so now even if she had not threatened that we have chosen not to do business with our agency any longer. My point in telling this story is to #1 find out if I am the only one who felt lied to, rushed in the parking lot, and who got a tongue lashing from agency?

Where do we go from here? I am worried that she might do something to change our homestudy...but not sure if she can? We just feel like we are starting from square one and are so frustrated. We have been waiting for over a year (initially in infant program), in foster/adopt for about 6 months.

We could go to another agency and do foster/adopt but now I am truly afraid to try this route again. I know that there might be a match out there for us but my fear is that this will happen again.

**If you have negative comments, please keep them to yourself, coming here for support not judgement.