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Originally Posted By To Lauri...

Hi Lauri, I'm a Korean adoptee who just happened upon your post. I think you made an incredible insight about adopting vs. your own bio child. For me because I'm an adoptee I tend to see it the other way around. I fear that adopting and then having my own children, I will become more comfortable and in sync with my adopted child due the similar thoughts and feelings. I personally don't think it's abnormal to think and feel a certain way. I'm sure the love you show both your adopted child and your biological child are genuine and just as strong with one as another. It may be that your love for one is different than the love for the other and that's okay. Love was not meant to be colorblind. Just as each person has their individuality, you will love each for the different attributes and individual contributions to your family. Don't mean to ramble. My point to this post is this: There are quite a few places where you can talk with other families in the process of adopting both Chinese and Korean infants. If you email me personally I can give you direct websites. And specifically the one I was adopted through. Or better yet because I don't like listing my personal email on such sites as this... go to www.holtinternational.org and access the bulletin boards on the right side menu and check out Families in Process and then you can click on any of the following sites. It's a great place to get great advice and suggestions. I would urge you to go ahead and post the same post as you did here because you will find a great deal of support and many-many women will be able to answer your question. I've not found a more supportive group of women. Good luck in your quest.