[dsepme]

We adopted sibs who came home at 14 mos and 2.75yo. My ONLY regret is that I didn't get them one at a time - at the same time, one of the best things we ever did was adopt siblings who came home together. Contradiction, I know.

It was not possible to attachment parent the way I imagined I would, and wanted to. I could not respond to every cry, every need, and assauge away the fears the moment they occured. It simply was not possible - even with 2 parents who were mostly home together for the first 3 months. When BOTH needed ME at the SAME TIME because I was "mom" (which was common) - I was so torn in half, fearing I was backsliding in attachment with the one who took a back seat for the moment. I felt like trust took longer with my kids. Just now, almost 6 mos later, I feel like they are really truly "getting it."

At the same time, because they are siblings, they had each other through the chaos. Even though I couldn't meet their needs always in the way they needed (and still can't), they witnessed me with their brother, calming, soothing, and being a "good mom." They bonded tightly to each other, and hung on, and I think collectively figured out that this family is a really good thing. But this is BECAUSE they are siblings. Had my children not been through living with their birth family and foster family together prior to this, I think the transition to our home life would have been way too much for me to take, even as a highly-driven wannabe Supermom.