[aniles]

I personally think it is important to let the child make the decision if s/he wants to know any information about their birthfamily. Once they understand they are adopted they can make that decision. They may have questions, but they may not. They might not be ready to hear bfamily info until they are 12, 25, 50 or never, and it might be traumatic to force it on them if they don't want to know. It is important to understand that. I was adopted and never really had an interest in my b-family. Now that I"m an adult, I'm SLIGHTLY curious, but more for medical information, and it's something I will never pursue - I don't need to. I know everything my mom has told me, which is not much, but my bmom simply gave birth to me. I don't need to know her - I have a mom. But, many others feel the total opposite. So, again, every child is different, but make sure they come to you wanting the information rather than making them hear it when they aren't ready.

This is such a great discussion. I'm torn about whether or not I should get this book.