we're in the process of planning for adoption #2 (sometime next year we hope) so I can appreciate the question. dd is 16 months and her adoption is very open- we correspond, we send photos, talk on the phone and have visited (they live 2000 miles away
). what has worked out for us is that dd's entire birthfamilies are involved, not just bdad and bmom. that makes it more likely that someone from her birthfamily will remain in contact over the long haul. But given that dd's relationship with them is so open, our next adoption must be open as well. I know there will be differences of course, but I won't consider an adoption with a pbmom/pbdad who knows they don't want contact. of course anyone who wants an open relationship can always change their mind, but i'm hoping that if they see the relationship we have with dd's bfamily, that they'll want to be involved in their child's life too.
it is hard when one child has a relationship and the other doesn't, but much is based on each child's temperment and outlook.
btw, I think spaypets has different relationships with her children's bfamilies, as well as others. hopefully they'll post here too.
take care,
lisa
__________________
-first time amom to dd, born 7/7/04
-placed in our arms by a very loving bmom 7/9/04
-bfather's rights terminated 9/7/04
-just connected with bdad!!! 2/9/05
-visited bfamilies for a week, awesome trip 6/05
-bfather signed legally binding open adoption
agreement 7/05
-finalized (woohoo!) 18th of November 2005
-Thinking about adoption #2!
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