[jal_morris]

One of the things that has been interesting for me in reading this book is that I, too, live in Minneapolis. Minnesota in general, and the Twin Cities in particular has the highest per capita rate of int'l adoptions in the country (or used to) and I believe still tops the charts for Korean adoptions. I do think we've learned a lot since the first plane-loads of Korean children were flown to the States 20+ years ago, but many of her cautionary tales are still valid for families with children adopted from other countries (although I do think they are very colored - necessarily - by her experience adopting from Korea) (I also really didn't like the whole Tapoda thing, even though I understand how she came to it). Finding the right balance between honoring your child's culture, race, heritage, country vs. being fixated with it (and thus the adoption) vs. trying to co-opt your child's culture and heritage (or expect to be welcomed into with with open arms "just" because of one's child) is a really tricky thing and something I think we'll all be struggling with to various degrees the whole time our children are growing up.

I know I've been struggling with how to do that in a city with a relatively large Mexican community, but virtually no Guatemalans (except for a large adoptee community). I have to be realistic -- my social circle does not include any Latinos (although I have some connections through work), and I need to do something about it. The pediatrician I selected is white with blonde hair - a true Minnesotan (the Latina pediatrician who others had recommended is not taking new patients). So, I figure I'll just have to find a Latino/a dentist! Luckily, there's a dual-immersion Spanish program in a local neighborhood school, but I'm not sure if its the best school academically, so I may have to make some trade-offs there. I've tried to find a child care place that has diversity both in its care-givers and its children, but I was not willing/comfortable to consider some centers in more urban neighborhoods where the majority of the kids/teachers would have been Latino. Could I have tried harder? Undoubtedly.

OK, so now I'm rambling. But I think Register makes some very good points about doing what's comfortable/easy for the adoptive parents vs. what's best/more comfortable for our adoptive kids.

I look forward to hearing what others think!