[Amykk]

Originally Posted by ddhuab

Q: Did any of you catch Cheri's discussion about moving to a more culturally diverse area (avoiding living in a mostly caucasion suburb/city)? I believe she pointed out something like, your child has traveled so many miles to relocate for you, why can't you travel a few miles and relocate for him/her?

This idea struck me because my husband and I were just talking earlier that day about possibly moving away from the south (although, truly, you can encounter homogeniety anyway in many places outside the south), as register pointed out in her examples (none of which were about southern states)... The idea, really, was not so much about making a big move to a diverse city like San Francisco or New York, etc., but rather moving to a different neighborhood that had some people that might look like your child (or at least that had some non-whites, I guess). A move to a different neighborhood would literally involve changing houses schools, but not so much changing jobs and become a huge upheaval.

D.

D -
Yes I did catch that part and the part about the vacation (i.e., going somewhere where your child will feel uncomfortable). I find myself watching the school kids walking home when I drive past our local schools to try to see what kind of racial makeup we have and how our son will blend in to this community. Although there aren't a lot of hispanic kids, at least everyone is not caucasian. My husband and I have talked about moving somewhere more rural, but we do need to think about our son now and where he will feel most comfortable.

I did think that the author put forth international adoption in a very negative light - there was one quote that said something to the effect of "now that the damage is done and you have your child home".

The book left me a little confused on HOW MUCH we should celebrate cultural differences - for example, the chapter on preserving culture vs. the chapter on not appropriating the child's culture were a little bit contradictory. I realize there needs to be a balance - but there wasn't much guidance on what an appropriate balance would be.

I just wish the book had more examples of parents who did a good job of raising their internationally adopted kids so that we could get some guidance on what we can do right vs. what everyone is doing wrong.