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Amy, Give yourself permission to know that you will become a parent. Whether you start your preparation now or later, you are as entitled as anyone and if possible, surround yourself with those who affirm and believe that too.

Four years ago when we embarked on this journey (our daughter is now three) we took a childcare class at our local hospital; several classes were required by our agency. I was the only woman in the large class not obviously pregnant; some looked as though they might burst. The instructor encouraged the others to watch my husband, whom she observed and called the "expert diaperer." He was calm, confident, efficient, rapid but not too quick and interacted quietly with the "doll" who was our subject. He is the loving, Zen type who never ever calls attention to himself. Before class we had completed a small form that included a bit about ourselves; we had written that we were pursuing adoption. She was clearly affirming that parenting is about love and one's spirit, not always about biology.

Now we have an 11 month old who has upped the bar on husband's quick diapering skills, as babe is always rapidly on the go and has little time for such derailments of activity.

I wish you peace on your journey.