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I think you are looking at this too much -- as well you should. I was concerned too and realized after much stress, that I thought up all the emotions that my kids were apparently feeling. First off, I wouldn't use the word "real", the relationship between my son and daughter, and their father is as real as it gets. I also wouldn't force anything. The adoption and feeling afterwards should be natural. I simply asked my daughter (whose being adopted by my husband), "do you love your father, well he loves you too and we're going to do whatever it takes to keep it that way. So we're going through the legal process to assure that we can continue to be a loving family." As far as the 7 year old is concerned, I wouldn't bother telling her until she gets older. I'm sure she loves her brother and wouldn't know any different. Why throw a wrench in it?
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