[waiting home]

What is your reaction to this behavior?

If they see that it gets your attention and even disturbs you, that is the attraction for them.

Trust me I know, its easier said than done since I am not the one cleaning it up, but try the "it doesn't bother me approach."

My sister had a heck of a time with this with her older boy. She had finally had it. Let me tell you about the last time it ever happened.

He was being forced to get ready for school (didn't want to go for what ever reason) so he soiled his pants (liquid and solid).

Now, the normal scenario would be my sister going ballistic, cleaning up while he cleaned himself up, both screaming and crying at each other as he had to change his clothes, etc. This became a fairly regular routine for them whenever G. did not want to go somewhere or was mad at her. He would end up being late for school or they were late for appointments, etc.

She was absolutely done with this intentional behavior. She had brought him to the doctor numerous times, the psych once, talked with the school, etc. yet the behavior continued.

Well, the one day it was do or die. He pulled his tricks and instead of getting angry or even acknowledging what had happened, she sent him to the bus stop as a stinking mess insisting he will not be late today. Kissed him goodbye and told him to have a good day, see ya after school.

Now, you are going to say this sounds absolutely cruel, right? I had my doubts in the beginning too. But I was not living it.

He was in third grade and having very big control issues with mom and (sometimes) dad at home. Well, we all can imagine what happened on that bus ride to school with the other wonderful, understanding peers.

Sure enough, when he reached the school, the nurse called. My sister explained the situation. She then brought a change of clothes up to school and made it very clear that she may not be available to bring new clothes next time. All while remaining calm.

It never happened again. I know it really sounds cruel, but it did work for her so its just a sharing of experience.

The moral of the story being that HE IS THE ONE IN CONTROL OF THIS SITUATION.