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Originally Posted By Sharon

Do be aware that, in international adoption, it is very unlikely that you will bring home a child under 4 months of age. There are many reasons.

In some cases, these reasons have to do with the foreign country. As an example, some countries require that all orphans and abandoned children be placed on a registry for several months, so that people within the country have a chance to adopt the children before they are placed internationally. This is consistent with ethical adoption practice, which says that intercountry adoption should be considered only if an appropriate domestic home cannot be found.

There may also be an adoption process mandated by the birth country that involves more than one visit by the prospective parents or a long length of stay in the country. This occurs so that parents have a chance to observe the child and feel certain that they want to go through with the adoption. There may also be a
court process that is slow.

In addition, there are also reasons related to the U.S. government. As an example, in many countries, the INS does investigations to ensure that babies have not been bought or stolen, and that the children qualify for adoption visas (not all children in orphanages do). DNA testing of birthmothers may be required. Birthmothers may also be interviewed, to ensure that they have placed their children voluntarily. And the INS staffing in some countries is just not enough for the demand.

But don't worry. There is plenty of "baby" left in a child who is 12 or even 18 months old. Even American children who have not been deprived of maternal love need lots of cuddling at those ages, and certainly need diapering and some help with feeding and such. And children who have been in orphanages and foster care often need maternal and paternal love and cuddling even more. Many are also mildly delayed and seem like younger children initially, or simply regress a bit to get a little extra love and attention.

My daughter is not from Africa; she is Chinese. But she came home at 18.5 months of age. She was very tiny and a little delayed, although she caught up rapidly and, at 6, is healthy, loving, intelligent, and so on. She wanted all the love and attention I could dish out, and was very much my "baby girl." I got plenty of that "baby experience" that I'm sure you want when you adopt.